End and New Beginning

It wasn't easy but I finally made the decision to move out. EV was a place filled with the best memories but it was just too difficult for me to go back to a big place alone -- especially when this place was once shared with my most loved ones, and now that they aren't here, everything in the house just reminded me constantly that my family is away from me. Today, I realize my most important roles as that of a husband, a dad. At Stanford, I am a student -- and with my family back in Singapore, I will neither be a good husband nor a good daddy.

Today I went back to Barnes Court and cleared out the last few items (stools and an additional phone with a long cord). There were special moments -- I spent a little time in the living room and felt myself tearing. I miss Wifey and Kieran boy boy. Coming to Stanford has been a very unique experience because we were here as a family. From the first day we arrived, we have gone through many significant moments together -- getting the place set up to be move livable (we didn't have pillows on the first night -- now we have seven!), Kieran getting eczema, wifey having gum aches, Kieran going to school, me struggling to establish a routine for both study and play... Thank God, we made it through. We have even managed to have a lot of fun together.

San Francisco would continue to be my favorite city though I probably won't go there again until wifey visits in March. I am also avoiding the farmers' market because the experience is not the same. Going there every Sunday was a family routine -- I would have my favorite almond croissant because Kieran always had one with me when Wifey did her marketing. The last time I went there I couldn't even bring myself to buy anything. It's not the same. Then there's Phil's coffee -- we discovered this place toward the end of December or early Jan. Again it's different because it was an experience shared by wifey and I. She was so proud to have found all these lovely places that offered us unforgettable experiences. I do think she has a talent to thrive in the travel industry -- so far she has never gone wrong with all the itineraries that she has planned for our trips and weekend getaways...

Anyway, back to EV. It was with sadness, a heavy heart, that I returned the keys to EV front desk (they weren't open so I dropped all four keys into the drop box). More memories. The first day we arrived at Stanford, the cabby dropped me near the front desk so that I could retrieve my keys. I was really excited. I liked how rustic the place was -- I immediately felt relaxed and I had a good feeling about things to come. Today, this chapter at EV has come to an end...

This bike is still in the backyard -- hopefully he will find a new owner who treats him well.

Emptied out leaving behind the pumpkins...

The keys are now in the dropbox.

Munger is the new residence housing I have been assigned to. It came as a surprise because the reassignment was made the very day I submitted the application. It happened that they had a studio and I was given priority. I didn't think I would like it in the past -- wifey and I used to think the environment looked too sterile... But it turned out to be surprisingly nice and spacious. I got the keys on Friday -- when I first entered the room, I knew wifey would have loved it. Can't wait for her to come in March . The space between the bed (which is a twin bed!) and the bar table would have been an ideal space for her yoga exercise (her pink yoga mat is still here, tucked into a nice corner of the room). I know eight weeks seem like a long time away but we'll have a lot of things to learn in the next few weeks that would make us better and stronger companions, soul mates and parents. Oh, how I miss Kieran too. Yesterday I downloaded the video files from the camera and boy, he's really grown and is he expressive! I would be missing out on his growth...

I used to go to the library every day and only return late in the night. Now I find myself staying in the apartment most of the day -- it's quite pleasant really and I am kind of anticipating wifey's reactions when she arrives. I have moved all the stuff over from EV -- pots, pans, clothes, pillows and TV set (with stand!!!) It's amazing how I managed to do it. Well, thank God I managed to move most of the big items before 3pm yesterday. It was difficult because the carpark for ES permit is quite a distance away and the walking with the heavy loads would have killed me. So I have been doing the illegal parking thingy -- moving all my stuff up boxes by boxes.... until yesterday when a Stanford sheriff told me off. He was going to tow my car away -- thank God I came back in time.

The lobby at Munger Building 1. I want wifey to play a tune on the baby piano.

Love the high ceiling.

Microwave! And there's a dishwasher too! Wifey would be so proud to own this kitchen!

Love the ergonomic chair -- so comfy!

There's so much space in the wardrobe!

Leather sofa -- guests could sleep there.

All this said, I know a few things very well now. That my family matters the world to me. You also don't know how deep your love is for another person until you are away from each other -- cliches do speak the truth after all. Yesterday I interviewed a classmate and his wife, and I found such striking similarities between us and this couple. The husband is always been cared for by the wife, who always reminds him to drink water. She also prepares his lunchbox. I think the man always becomes the baby in the relationship... and that's something I really miss!

And yep, wifey and I had this conversation -- we miss each other but we would also miss the US when we are all back in Singapore finally. There's so much space and possibilities here -- it's like both go together. The quality of life and the people's attitudes toward life is something I would miss sorely. I just hope that when I return to Singapore, I would be able to get my priorities right.